Today is not my day. I had multiple feeling occurring at the same time time. This is what i feel today:
sleepy (since I hadn’t sleep yet from yesterday sunset. I sleep too long yesterday and to make up for it, I take caffeine so that I can do something tonight. But what I don’t expect is an overdue project and assignment in study week. I manage to get the project from someone and take 2-3 hours modifying it to make it look different. I don’t mind getting low marks. I just don’t want the other person that I take the project form get low because of me. But what can i do at this crucial time. If that person does get low mark, i will go and see the lecturer and explain it. ) +
tired (since lack of sleep and lots of assignment to be done in study week which is not supposed to be any. What is the idea of study week if it is filled with projects and assignment? We supposed to spend our time studying quietly, without any tense at all. They sure take our study time a lot. If it hadn’t any coursework mark, I don’t think i will do it. THIS IS STUDY WEEK DEAR LECTURERS) +
sad (Since someone that willingly give me his portfolio to be copied give his portfolio to me with a furious impression, like he doesn’t want to give me to at all. Hello!! You say in the phone earlier when i ask where are you guys right now that you will give me yours when you done copying. Do you forget? Is it my fault? Is it my fault for eating while watching movie when you struggle to copy the assignment with other 6-7 person at the lecturer lounge? Do you realise what you had done? I read your tones. I know what that tone you use when you give it to me. Anybody can detect it.) +
disappointed (since i just know that the portfolio that people said is a compilation of notes and tutorials done is something else. And the time I know it is the moment to submit the portfolio. There is no such notice in the elearning saying about the detail of the portfolio. And it is our fault for not hearing what the lecturer said in the last lecture? +
furious (since not only the person who let me borrow his portfolio give it to me with furious tone, but he also make an unappropriated sequence of event such as the lift’s door closed and hurt my shoulder, making me wait without telling me where to go, urge me to finished early without purpose, ask me to quit watching movie at 1pm to do the portfolio which is almost the time for Friday prayer, saying sorry without meaning it. Ty. Ty so much for all your action today) +
stressed (all today problem combined with problems I already have is making me think a lot. Please, no more. I can’t take it anymore. I had trained myself to be emotionally sensitive and this is the consequences. I care too much of what people feel make me eat myself alive. I think about people feeling when I want to ask something, I care when I want to do everything, I care when I want to leave somewhere, I care when I want to buy something, I care in my every action. I’m not saying that I regret learning and consume myself in the realm of emotions but I got nothing beneficial out of it. It makes people happy being around me since I take action with full precaution but I don’t get the same from them. I end up eating myself alive.) +
confused (I don’t know what to do now. I’m at my limit. I had thought to extend of quitting a relationship with somebody. I was thinking too deep that I can’t say it anymore. I can’t say a word out of my mouth since I had given it all to my thinking. Please leave me alone for the coming 1 week. Let me recover back what I lost. Let me think more about me rather than thinking about others. I don’t want to turn to my old self anymore. Let me recover back to me, one you know this past 2-3 years and not the one before you met me. Huhu.) +
sick (I think I’m too stressed I wanna puke. LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE, I BEG YOU GUYS. DON’T LET ME SICK WITH HAVING YOU AROUND ME. WAAaaaaaaa)
i think i do feel like u feel “I care too much of what people feel make me eat myself alive.”. it somehow true and id try to find an answer to this.it is said good to be emotionally sensitive in those Self Enrichment Books, but i found out that there is no solution to this problem. after asking myself and i couldnt find the answer for many time, i let it gone…unanswered…then i heard ceramah and get an answer to it. the major flaw of those self enrichment book..there are no GOD inside it.the power of god is denied..we can make everything..there is no such value as ikhlas and reward from god.i think as long as i learned everything in this world, and related it with some Quranicc verse and Islam, that is what i called as Ilmu Yg Bermanfaat that we always pray on
November 7, 2008 @ 11:01 pmYup. What we learn from Self Enrichment Books have no relation with GOD at all. I knew about this from the first time i read this kind of book. Most of the writers are Jewish. They live without any believe of the existence of GOD, or even denying the existence of GOD. Being Emotionally sensitive is not applicable in the world of engineering i assumed. It is a tough world where we not need to care what people feel. Emotional sensitive should be a skilled required by Islamic teachers or counselors (I once had thought of being either one of them when i was thinking what i wanna be when i was a kid. I wonder why i change my interest. Huhu). You had taken a good step for relating it with Quranic verse and Islam.
Ty for your suggestion and experience.
November 8, 2008 @ 2:50 amhati ini sentiasa ingin kembali kepadaNya. maka bila hati terasa kacau bilau..
mainlah TD.
haha. kidding.
bila hati terasa kacau bilau, ingatlah kepadaNya dengan berzikir..
(wow, baiknya saya. mungkin saya patut isi borang untuk jadi RM? haha)
(terus tak jadi baik.. -___-”)
November 9, 2008 @ 9:18 amThank you aymni. You didn’t shoot me this time. I did what you write (before i read here. you’re late) after the “kacau bilau” and i went back to that person and i smile. He talk to me kindly, and i reply kindly. I do send gtalk to him saying
“MInta maaf sgt kalau ak bad modd. Here is the reason. http://ir-syad.blog.friendster.com/2008/11/get-away-from-me/. if i’m not asking too much, please not talk to me for a few days. Too stressed.”
But he never did that. To think about it, who can get away from their friend (or Best Friend) especially if they live under one roof. I’m clean now. At least clean from caffeine effect. Hehe.
November 9, 2008 @ 11:36 amYou have to relax. It will just add up to your stress. But I will also be disappointed when that things happen to me all at the same time. Just don’t let them/it get to you. More power.
October 6, 2009 @ 4:10 pmHehe. Its one year story already. By the way, who are you?
October 12, 2009 @ 3:50 am